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Y’all, something huge just happened last night!
So, let me preface this by saying I am currently reading What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa Terkeurst. I have faith and trust in Him, however I struggle with discerning on His vs. my thoughts/desires/ideas. Lots of crazy stuff enters my mind and I don’t know where it is coming from!
After my Bible study on Wednesday evening, I was talking with a friend from the study and she told me to stop and listen. Spend some time in His Word and open myself up to His desires for me.
So, just a few hours earlier, I was working on bills. There was a short season when my husband (aka Mi Amor) and I were getting back on our feet after I switched from one job to another, and we missed church and therefore didn’t tithe a couple of weeks. On my spreadsheet, I had written “Owe $$$ on tithe.” Knowing that I am out of work and we are figuring out how to make ends meet, I deleted that and moved on the to rest of the bills. “God understands….” I thought.
Now, back to later that same evening, after bible study and this conversation with my friend. I thought (or felt God tell me) that I needed to give $1,000 in tithe to our church. “WHAT! Are you crazy?!!” I said out loud, to myself. Remember…we are struggling here! My parents are actually gifting us a few days away for my hubby’s 40th birthday week, how can I give money when I am accepting money??
I chalked it off to more of my own crazy thoughts. But I remembered, be still…listen…who is making me think this? DOES IT GLORIFY GOD? (Thanks, Lysa!). So, adding more stipulations to me vs. God, I thought “okay, if Mi Amor confirms my thoughts, then we will give the money.” I didn’t bring it up, though.
So, Thursday came and went and I hadn’t even put any thought back on this moment. Like I mentioned, I am all over the place. Mi Amor leads a men’s group on Thursdays, so I was working on my consulting gig in the bedroom. When he got home, he came to the room, laid on the bed and opened his Bible. We did the normal casualties, “how was bible study?” “How was your day?” “anything exciting come up?” “any good job applications?” ….followed by a few moments of us doing our own thing.
Then, BOOM. Mi Amor tells me, “There’s something I read in Acts 5 and I’m struggling with it; it’s bothering me for some reason and I don’t know why.” He began to read it to me, and here’s an excerpt for dramatic effect:
Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. Acts 5: 3-5
Then, in verse 9, Peter speaks with Ananias’ wife and says:
How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.
Y’ALL. I started sobbing. Like, more than just pretty tears. I asked Mi Amor, right before the tears came, “what does this mean to you?” and he even responded, “not the scripture, but to me personally?” He added that he couldn’t pinpoint it but he felt guilt. BOOM. God has spoken. And, dropped the mic.BOOM. God has spoken. And, dropped the mic. How I walked out in faith and became radically obedientClick To Tweet
Guess who’s getting a $1,000 check this Sunday?
God keeps humbling me. And you know what? I am so thankful. I know He is full of blessings, and I believe He has something incredible in store for us. I can’t wait to share once we figure it all out!
Related: Farewell 2017, you’ve been real
How have you said YES to God lately?