Do you ever feel inadequate? Maybe the thought of not feeling like enough crosses your mind from time-to-time. Or maybe you get instantly nervous, clammy or have a quick need to pee when you find yourself having to speak in front of others.
Do I have a story for you, strait out of His Word! But first, I’m going to share a little about me before we channel our inner Moses.
When I was in High School, I volunteered to emcee one of our events. I went to a really different kind of school (which I briefly touch on here). It was a pretty conservative academy, and because of that we didn’t have school dances. We did, however, have banquets. Four per year to be exact – and in the fall it was always a fun theme.
My sophomore year the event committee planned a Hollywood Nights theme banquet, and I thought…whoa, wouldn’t it be fun to host Singled Out, VGA-Style? (VGA = Valley Grande Academy). Since none of our teachers knew what that was, and my co-host and I had to plan out all the questions in advance to get screened, they let us have it.
And so began my obsession with being famous. The event was a huge hit (despite my attempt at being a plus size Jenny McCarthy with a 90’s blonde wig and patent leather boots) and we even did it again my junior year. I also volunteered for every open spot to emcee events, be in plays and even sing…and, guys, I am not blessed with being able to sing. I frankly sound like a dog in heat, but I do love to belt out a good number.
Fast forward to college. I was not in the best place and had been in a marriage that scarred me. Violence, drugs and cheating made me slink into a whole other person. But, I wanted to catch a glimmer of myself so I joined the university program board and became an event chair. Every time I had to get on a mic in front of everyone I got so nervous. I felt sick to my stomach, inadequate and like someone could do it better than I could. But I pushed through and got in front of an audience.
The day my ex decided to walk out the door he decided to tell me while I was getting ready (like, curling iron in hand) for an awards dinner where I would be honored. Yup, he was that guy. I cried, oh did I cry. But I pulled myself together and made that speech. And I did it well because no one knew I was suffering.
I share all this because even though I am healed of those scars, I still cannot bring myself to speak in front of others, and it is worse than it ever was. There have been situations at work or volunteering where I needed to present, and I just fail miserably in the confidence department. I even emceed a dog event just a few years ago and I was desperate to get out of there….and my audience was dogs!
But God has other plans….I (we) just need to let him. Check this out (the punch line….):
Exodus 4:10-12 CSB
But Moses replied to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent — either in the past or recently or since you have been speaking to your servant — because my mouth and my tongue are sluggish.” The Lord said to him, “Who placed a mouth on humans? Who makes a person mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say.”
Guys….He will help us speak. He will teach us what to say! I can do this. You can too. My story is a little backwards, but I can totally relate to Moses here. So, I’m going to get out there and find a place to speak this year. How will you overcome your fear?